When I think of needs, I think of the basics, such as food, shelter, warmth, water, etc. Its the things I know must be done, not necessarily the things I WANT to do, but certain responsibilities that must be met. I know I do not think much about the things I need, and I do not always fulfill those things, such as water. I know I am chronically dehydrated, but i find it hard to find the time to eat and drink as much as I need to.
Wants to me are things I can live without, but they really make my life easier to have, such as money, time, that cute outfit over there heehee, a nap! If I get something I have been really wanting, I do feel very relieved and happy. Its not often I get to treat myself with something just for me, so getting something I want is very special. When I think of “I Want” it really makes me think of that spoiled child who always wants something and is never satisfied. Growing up I did not have the option of voicing the things I wanted, to even getting the opportunity to fulfill any wants I had. I was taught to keep quiet and not ask for things unless it couldn’t be helped (such as asking for a permission slip to be signed). I got gifts on Christmas and my birthday. Any other days were normal days where you do not ask for things. So growing up this way, I guess would be where my bad association with “I Want” came from.
When I think of what I value, I think of things that cannot be bought. Its those special things you appreciate and shouldnt be taken for granted. I value my family and friends, my pets, organization, relaxation, quiet, my time for spirituality, cooking, reading, having an education, manners, cleanliness, etc. I find i get very frustrated when something comes in conflict with something i value. When something feels so important to me, I can’t help but wonder why is it not important to others as well. Sometimes I feel alone in my pursuit for things that align with my values.
What I appreciate in life- kind of goes hand in hand with what I value. I appreciate those who take the time to do a task correctly, or to make sure that when they leave an area such as work, they leave it properly functioning and tidy for the next person. I appreciate people to take care of the elderly and children, because they are the ones who need to be protected the most, for they cannot always protect themselves (same goes for animals.) I appreciate taking pride in my home, my possessions, and staying organized. I makes me feel accomplished and less stressed with things are orderly, and I work hard for everything I own, so why wouldn’t I take care of it? I appreciate those who work hard to get somewhere in life an do not strive to live off welfare and child support. I appreciate family—not just the people in it, but all the things that come with it. I appreciate nature in its rawest form. Even with all the crap going on in the world, and so many things to let you down or make you sad, the cruelty of people these day, you can always turn to nature and feel that peace and knowing that this is where you belong. I appreciate more holistic healing, rather than just pill pushing. Id rather find out the root of a problem rather than mask the symptoms. I appreciate my friends and all they do for me, and never make me feel bad for not always being around. The understand the busy pace of life, and are always there to make time for me when i have free time of my own. There are so many things I appreciate, because I am always grateful. Once you know what its like to be without so much in life, you learn to respect and appreciate so much in life.
I then took out the trash and relaxed a bit. Looking back at my list
My needs are pretty basic, I live my life simply and know how to survive without many things. However, I do still have wants, even if they cannot always be fulfilled. I feel better when I do not have to worry about some things, such as bills. I always know I will find a way to get past them each month, and Goddess has helped by making a Full Time position available this year, so my income has increased. Most of my values and wants and appreciations however are not of the physical sense. They are more of an emotional/mental sense. I want a sense of feeling wanted, and love, and appreciated for all the things I do for others. Its funny how such things as that seem the hardest to attain. More so than the physical things. I am trying to train myself mentally to change my perception of things, because sometimes I think my overactive thought processes bring me down rather than what is actually taking place. I expect people to behave a certain way then get disappointed when they don’t. In reality everything is neutral, it just depends on what you do with it and how YOU perceive it and how YOU react.
Ok took my shower for the night, got my candle lit and a fresh paper.
Rewrote my list, and as I stated previously, I am trying to change my perceptions. Its really a tough thing to do, and one I know will take continuous effort. Cleaned out my purse (when this year is over I can remove my planner for 2012) and empowered my coins.